A story about reaching a win-win situation.
I was invited to go hiking with my friend and his family. It was a beautiful day for any outside activity, so I happily accepted. I left early because I knew the difficulty of finding parking in their area. Their house was positioned on a narrow one-way street and the side that permits parking is always packed.
I arrived on time and waited outside for all of them to come out. Within moments I saw my friend driving his car up the street. He double parked in front of his house, got out and greeted me and told me that his wife and little girl would be out in a moment, and we could be on our way.
But before that happened, a car drove up the road, reached the point of my friend’s double-parked car and stopped. It was possible to pass with slow and careful driving, but the driver decided to go about it differently. He started blowing his horn impatiently. My friend ignored him.
After some more blares the driver opened his window and called toward us harshly, demanding we find the owner of the car and make him move it. I was worried about a potential clash. My friend was a big man who never shied away from confrontations and the tone of voice of the driver was a bit aggressive.
I offered to drive the car around the block while he waited for his wife, but he just shrugged. He walked slowly to the blaring car, came face to face with the driver and said calmly and firmly. "This is my car parked there. Now do you want to pass, or do you want to teach me a lesson?"
The driver hesitated; the aggression went down a notch.
"I want to pass." he growled.
"Good, let me help you.” replied my friend and moved to the front of the car and started giving hand signals for the driver to proceed.
The driver grudgingly did as instructed and slowly passed the double-parked car. My friend moved out of the way and waved as the car sped away.
I thought about this event many times. It is good to be strong and make others submit to your demands. But even better is to recognize that no one wants to admit they want to teach you a lesson, and if the other option is to pass, then you can create a win-win situation.
In reality, no one can teach others a lesson. If someone is forced to submit, it is never because they learned a lesson. They just fold for the moment and wait for their turn to strike back when the situation is more favorable.
Keep in mind, nobody can teach anybody a lesson.
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